Zoey Handley
Zoey made up for her mundane childhood by playing video games. Now she won't shut up about them. Her eclectic tastes have worried many. Don't come to close, or she'll shove some weird indie or retro game in your face. It's better to not make eye contact. Cross the street if you see her coming.
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Review – Butter Side Down
Do you love operating systems? You bet, you do! Do you enjoy using operating systems while working for a soul-sucking corporation? You bet, you do! I don't remember what point I was trying to make, so here's Butter Side Down, instead.
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Review – Easy Delivery Co.
I love snow. Not a huge fan of winter because it gets really dark really early, but that’s the tradeoff for snow. I love how snow hides things. Heavy snow hides the horizon. Fresh fallen snow hides the sounds of the city. Deep snow is perfect for temporarily hiding bodies. When a winter storm kicks up, I wish it would…
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Review – Seek and Destroy (PS2)
Conspiracy Entertainment’s spree of localization of the Choro-Q series is bizarre. Choro-Q is a brand of toy car. In North America, they were sold as Penny Racers, but I honestly don’t remember ever seeing them in my childhood. However, I guess they have some manner of ubiquity in Japan, since there was a series of games based on them until…
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Two Kunio-Kun classics are finally being localized for NES by Retro-Bit
Oh, this is right up my alley. Retro-Bit has announced the next in their line-up of retro reproductions. This time, they’re bringing over two games that are near and dear to me from the expansive Nekketsu/Kunio-Kun/Downtown/River City series. The games in question are Nekketsu Kakutō Densetsu and Nekketsu Street Basket: Ganbare Dunk Heroes, which are being localized as River City…
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Review – No, I’m not a Human
People aren’t my favourite people. Every person brings unnecessary complications into my life, and I’m too empathetic to just focus on myself. So, I’m not the most social person, and neither is the protagonist of No, I’m not a Human. But while I still make connections with others, because that’s life, and you gotta, the protagonist of No, I’m not…
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Review – Normality
If Realms of the Haunting did one great thing, it's that it led me to Normality, another first-person adventure from 1996. Only this one has less shooting and more Corey Feldman, if you want it to. Which is maybe a positive, depending on what you think of Corey Feldman.
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Review – Caput Mortum
Caput Mortum is a shortform horror adventure title. In it, you descend into a tower's basement, mingle with homunculi, and solve lots of puzzles. Also, you have one arm, and you're going to get a lot of use out of it.
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Let’s take a moment to appreciate the snow in Monster Truck Madness 64
No, hear me out. Snow doesn't get the representation it deserves in video games. Even today, most games don't simulate it very well. But back in 1999, Monster Truck Madness had a very unique solution to representing the freezing precipitation.
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Review – Crazy Frog: Arcade Racer (PS2)
I'm sorry if I just reminded you that Crazy Frog exists. If you're not aware, it was an explosive fad in the '00s centred around an annoying thing with his dick out. Crazy Frog Arcade Racer cuts out the dick, but it's still very, very annoying.
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Review – Realms of the Haunting
Time to do some DOS delving. Realms of the Haunting is an awkwardly named 1996 title by Gremlin. The best way I can explain it is: it's awesome until it isn't.
