There’s a bit of a story behind how if discovered 2001’s KuruKuru MaruMaru for PS1, but it’s a bit long. If you’re interested, I’ll put it under the last heading before the score. If you aren’t interested, just skip it.

The short version is that, if memory serves, I saw someone post screenshots of it on social media with a comment along the lines of “You’ll never believe the premise of this game.” That’s because, KuruKuru MaruMaru is sporting some pretty striking 2D art in its 3D environments. It looks weird, not all that far removed from Parappa the Rapper.

In fact, its premise harkens back to a chapter in Parappa the Rapper. KuruKuru MaruMaru is about getting your driver’s license. But if you can’t tell, it’s not your typical exam.

TEN AND TWO

Now, I want to be clear: I’m not very proficient in Japanese, and KuruKuru MaruMaru doesn’t have a translation, official or fan. Its use of language is rather simple, but I was still left guessing at some of it. I can’t really give you the whole picture of what’s going on, and I might be inaccurate in some places.

You play as Wakaba, a teenager without his driver’s license. His friend has a license, and he’s so cool, so Wakaba decides he desperately needs to get one. He enrols in a driving school, and is taken there by way of abduction. So, it’s not your ordinary driving school. Obviously.

You’re put through a series of tests. These start off basic enough, but eventually you’re escaping from a sunken ship and running from dragons. Don’t worry, you never have to parallel park.

Despite how weird everything is, the driving is rather true to life. At the beginning of most tests, you have to start your car, disengage the parking brake, put it in drive, signal that you’re pulling out, check your blind spot, and then begin. Sometimes there’s a speed limit, other times you have no brakes and are at the top of a tall hill.

It’s not that it’s realistic, per se, it’s just that a lot of attention has been given to make it feel you’re inside a vehicle, instead of making you feel like you are the vehicle.

YOROSHIKU

In fact, as far as cars go, it’s pretty cumbersome. Steering isn’t just a matter of pushing a direction. As you hold the button (or stick, if you’re feeling sassy), the wheel turns slowly. Letting go of the direction doesn’t snap it back to neutral, it’s more like what would happen if you just let go of the wheel in an actual car: it will slowly re-centre itself as you move. However, you can push in the opposite direction to re-centre if faster, but you might overshoot if you’re not paying attention. So, it’s easy to oversteer, then over-compensate, and that’s just a whole mess.

Most of the challenge comes from the fact that you’re being judged. You gain points for time, how well you follow the rules of the road, and “technique.” The road rules and technique categories are a little mystifying. Among the rules you have to pay attention to is signalling at intersections and turning your head to look at perpendicular roads, even when it’s a sharp corner.

And the head-turning thing is disorienting to the max. The car interior pans at the wrong speed, which… I don’t know, you have to see it in action. It just sucks.

As mentioned, the tests themselves feature a huge variety to them, and KuruKuru MaruMaru is great at leaving you guessing. There are some that just involve avoiding obstacles, but there’s always a curveball waiting. In fact, I don’t want to spoil them any more than I have. But I really want to.

GOTTA FIND FIRST GEAR

Linking this together is a story that I wish I could understand better. Wakaba is taken under the wing of a rotating cast of teachers. Navi-sensei is hyperactive and dangerous. Mission-sensei hates men. Bonnet-sensei is a man. Mirror-sensei is super hot and everyone wants to bang her. Wiper-sensei is clearly an alien. You wind up engrossed in a love triangle, and it’s sort of sweet. Sort of. It’s easy to get into, at least.

And this is all tied together with KuruKuru MaruMaru’s outstanding art style. While the cutscenes were confined within textboxes with accompanying voice-overs (aside from Wakaba, who has a voice in the opening, but nowhere else) which doesn’t give much opportunity for movement, the animations are extremely expressive. Even when I couldn’t fully comprehend what was going on in the dialogue, the additional gesticulations generally got the point across.

The soundtrack also shares the variety found in the rest of the game. It’s great, I just wish I could find it outside the game, because it’s hard to fully appreciate while playing it.

TRIAL AND ERROR

While I was able to get through most of the game without much trouble with my loose grasp of Japanese, there was one major stoppage. The fourth round of the game is a quiz. But you’re still driving. You pull up to a white line, and a question is displayed on screen. It’s true or false, but, remember, you get points for speed. Plus, there is a time limit, and the only time I actually crossed it was during the quiz.

I nearly gave up. There’s no pause, so there was no way around trying to figure out what was it saying and answering. I won with a combination of memory and blind luck. It’s possible. Ganbatte!

After that it was a breeze, which is a problem in itself. The stages are invariably short, and I think that’s a technical limitation. I’m not sure what the reason is, but it seems like every map is confined into a small area. Tracks are made longer by having them twist around themselves, but even climactic tests that should allow you to stretch your legs more wind up tripping over the size constraint. After the quiz, I sped through most of the missions.

Meanwhile, the art style does a lot of heavy lifting in terms of visuals. From a technical standpoint, it’s anything but impressive, and struggles with the PS1’s lack of FPU. Flat surfaces warp, distant objects flicker in and out of existence, and if you hit a wall, there’s a good chance that it’s going to shake you to death. Even aside from that, hills are a rarity. Everything is very flat. 3D objects are animated very poorly, and I’m not sure that was a stylistic choice. Technically rough, but still nice to look at.

KURUMA

I don’t think it’s inaccurate to say that KuruKuru MaruMaru has a load-bearing premise. While the driving is detailed, the short, simple missions feel like the game is extrapolated from a WarioWare microgame. It gets a lot of mileage, is what I’m saying, and if you cut it out, whitewash over all the art, and serve it à la carte, it’s pretty meagre. But I’m sure you can see where that’s a fallacy.

As a whole package, I’m in love with KuruKuru MaruMaru. The way everything comes together is nearly perfect. I have some reservations, but it charmed the pants off me. While the chapter 4 quiz was a big stick in the spokes, once I got over that, I played the rest of the game in a single evening. And while it’s not the longest game, I was stuck there because it glued me to my seat.

I wonder what it would take for KuruKuru MaruMaru to get a latter-day localization. It happened for Milano’s Odd Job Collection, so sometimes the stars align. I just know that more people need the opportunity to get behind the wheel of this oddity.

BONUS ANECDOTE

So, I mentioned that “if memory serves” I first saw KuruKuru MaruMaru on social media. Well, if memory serves, when I first heard about the game, I did some research into it, then put it out of mind. However, while I was looking for material for my old Destructoid column on obscure games, it came to mind. But I couldn’t remember its name, and when I searched for “Japan-only PS1 game with cartoon graphics about driver’s ed,” nothing came up.

I am very adept at locating games based on very little information, but nothing was coming up. I sifted through MobyGames but didn’t catch a whiff. So, I jumped into the Destructoid staff chat and asked the talented folks there (this was when there were still talented folks at Destructoid.) No one had any idea what I was talking about, nor could they find anything. They just asked, “Are you sure you’re not thinking of Parappa the Rapper?”

Was I? The screenshots I had seen swirled and distorted in my memory. It did strike me as strange that another game with a weird, stylized, cartoon art style would be entirely about driver’s training. Wait… did I dream it?

That was the explanation I settled on; that in one of my rare, vivid dreams, I had conjured this strange game about a bizarre driver’s ed. Yet, it continued to gnaw at me.

However, as I recount this story, something else is bothering me. Where did I re-learn the name? How did I cross paths with it a second time? When was I relieved of my self-doubt?

My memory can be a scary thing. It won’t let go of some things. But then it just gaps out in places it seems that it would otherwise lock onto.

Anyway, here’s a score.

8/10

This review was conducted on a PS1 using a “backup” copy of the game and a software boot hack. The author will own a copy one day, mark her words. Screenshots were captured through a RetroTink 4K.