Zoey Handley
Zoey made up for her mundane childhood by playing video games. Now she won't shut up about them. Her eclectic tastes have worried many. Don't come to close, or she'll shove some weird indie or retro game in your face. It's better to not make eye contact. Cross the street if you see her coming.
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How Hi Score Girl helped me survive having my dreams crushed
I wouldn't complain about it to a paramedic, but working under Gamurs was awful. During that hopeless time, I was afraid of losing my passion for video games. Hi Score Girl helped me keep it alive.
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Review – Farming Simulator 16-Bit Edition
New games on old consoles will probably always be exciting to me. Old consoles all have their unique strengths and weaknesses, and seeing developers navigate them is interesting. I wish the big, veteran publishers would get in on it. New Nintendo games on old Nintendo consoles? Gimme. Farming Simulator 16-Bit Edition is interesting to me now that it’s actually on…
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Preview – Every Day We Fight
I loved XCOM and XCOM 2 (The new ones. The old ones kick my ass), but I can’t say their style is a carrot I’ve been chasing. In fact, I haven’t played XCOM 2 since the expansion, though I remember really enjoying it. So, I probably wouldn’t have paid that much attention to Every Day We Fight if not for…
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Retro-Bit is trying again with preorders of the Toaplan Shooters Collection Vol 2 – minus Twin Cobra
That’s messy. A few days ago, Retro-Bit announced that it was removing Twin Cobra from their Toaplan Shooters Collection Vol 2, a set of reproduction titles for the Genesis/Mega Drive. Apparently, licensing issues are to blame. They’re now set to re-open preorders for the collection, but it’s now been slimmed down due to Twin Cobra’s absence. “Following discussions with the…
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Review – Empires of the Undergrowth
Does every kid have a period of ant appreciation? I never had an ant farm, but I did once have other ant-related ambitions. I wanted to find a way to grow ants to the size of cows and have a petting zoo. Just an incredible example of childhood delusions. Like, clearly, the only reason we don’t have giant ant petting…
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No way! Farming Simulator 16-bit Edition is getting a legit Genesis port
Do you know Farming Simulator? The surprisingly popular series about running a modern farm with massive farming equipment? Not the Stardew Valley/Harvest Moon brand of farming; the real industrialized sort. The series that has dedicated peripherals to use with steering wheel controllers so you can work your harvester or whatever? The one that has been going strong since 2008? Yeah,…
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Preview – Hollywood Animal
Not for the faint of heart, Hollywood Animal isn't merely about making movies. It's also about the seedy underpants of the humans who make up the industry. People are awful is the lesson to be learned here.
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Review – Promise Mascot Agency
Marketing is one of the most powerful forces on earth. It steers human society, telling us what is important and what to think. It has caused immeasurable harm as it single-mindedly puts profit above everything else. We have never been without marketing, but it’s become so much more unstoppable with the increased access to information. Humanity’s downfall will probably be…
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Microsoft’s Copilot Gaming Experience is haunted and pointless
Tech companies are really pushing generative AI for some reason. The technology has a lot of practical uses, but companies would rather wave their dicks around to show it off. Their dicks, in this case, being braindead chatbots and dangling carrots in the form of generated art. The latest in these flashes of useless genitalia is Microsoft’s “Copilot Gaming Experience.”…
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Preview – Insectile
Are you hungry for some cute bugs? Insectile serves up a fusion dish of creature collector and puzzle game. But does it get the flavour right? I'm so hungry right now.
