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Eclectic Gaming Reviews and Articles for the Boring-Adverse

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  • Puzzle Fighter 2 Header
    1990s,  Review,  The Quarterhole

    Review – Super Puzzle Fighter II Turbo

    Zoey Handley / September 4, 2024 / No Comments

    The sequel to the extremely non-existent Super Puzzle Fighter I and the updated version of the also non-existent Normal Puzzle Fighter II, Super Puzzle Fighter II Turbo brings you all the puzzling and fighting you'd expect from such a celebrated series. No Zangief, though, so that's a bummer.

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  • Elevator Action Returns Header
    1990s,  The Quarterhole

    Review – Elevator Action Returns

    Zoey Handley / June 12, 2024 / No Comments

    How is Elevator Action Returns not talked about more? Don’t get me wrong, it’s not the absolute most obscure arcade game that I’ve covered. It even recently got an enhanced port (of the Sega Saturn version) called Elevator Action Returns S-Tribute, but it’s so much better than its niche suggests. I already love Elevator Action, the 1983 game that is…

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  • ToeJam and Earl in Panic on Funokotron header image.
    1990s,  Genesis

    Review – ToeJam & Earl in Panic on Funkotron

    Zoey Handley / April 22, 2024 / No Comments

    I have to stop taking the phrase “not as good as the first one” as meaning “not worth playing.” I have had Toejam & Earl in Panic on Funkotron for about as long as I’ve owned my Genesis, but I don’t think I ever completed a single level. I just wasn’t sure it was worth it, especially when just playing…

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  • Dangeresque The Roomisode Triungulate Dangeresque and Renaldo fleeing an exploding Gremlin.
    2020s

    Review – Dangeresque: The Roomisode Triungulate

    Zoey Handley / March 9, 2024 / No Comments

    I got to meet my heroes recently, The Brothers Chaps. Well, not meet them, but communicate over email. That might be the only way, since I have the suspicion that they don't exist outside the internet. Their corporeal form is entirely hearsay to me. Anyway, here's Dangeresque: The Roomisode Triungulate.

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  • Castlevania X: Rondo of Blood Richter laughing like a dork.
    1990s,  Review

    Review – Castlevania X: Rondo of Blood

    Zoey Handley / February 10, 2024 / 1 Comment

    As a fan of the Castlevania series, it might be surprising that I've only now finally gotten around to beating Rondo of Blood. I had even completed Dracula X years before, so figure that one out. Now that I've finally consummated with it, here's what I think.

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  • Resident Evil 7 Header
    2010s,  Review

    Review – Resident Evil 7: Biohazard

    Zoey Handley / July 11, 2023 / No Comments

    I stopped following the Resident Evil series after the disappointment that was Resident Evil 5. I didn't stop caring, though, so I was happy to see it return to horror. And Resident Evil 7 is a good time, just, you know, barring a few problems I had with it.

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  • Wolfenstein: The Old Blood - Header
    2010s,  Review

    Review – Wolfenstein: The Old Blood

    Zoey Handley / January 2, 2023 / No Comments

    Nazis are easily some of the most fun-to-kill bad guys in video games. This goes back well before Wolfenstein 3D, but the series has really run with it. Wolfenstein: The Old Blood is a step back from the tech Nazis of The New Order but feels weirdly fresh.

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  • Signalis - Header
    2020s,  Review

    Review – Signalis

    Zoey Handley / October 27, 2022 / 1 Comment

    The survival horror genre was reasonably long-lived but eventually went to where all dead genres go: the indie and alternative markets. Very rarely does one arrive from the big budget space, and if it does, it's a remake. Case in point, here's Signalis, which takes inspiration from survival horror of old.

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  • Mutant Football League Header
    2010s,  Review

    Review – Mutant Football League

    Zoey Handley / August 17, 2022 / No Comments

    Football is the dumbest of sports. Now that I have your attention, I don't really like football. I've tried. But even the blitziest of Blitzes didn't grab my goat horns. As it turns out, there is a way to get me to play football. Mutant Football League taught me.

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  • Cult of the lamb header
    2020s,  Review

    Review – Cult of the Lamb

    Zoey Handley / August 12, 2022 / No Comments

    Not only will you get a review of Cult of the Lamb, you'll also get to hear about my family's adjacency and weird run in with an actual scary cult, the Ant Hill Kids. I'm not sure that many critics out there could really provide you with that perspective.

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