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Review – Meat Grinder: Hotdog Simulator
You hungry for hot dogs? Meat Grinder is a horror game centered around digging up graves and turning those corpses into tube meat. And no one would know the difference. Are you hungry for hot dogs now?
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Review – Ganbare Goemon: Uchū Kaizoku Akogingu
Now that I have your attention, let's talk about Goemon's first visit to the OG PlayStation. Uchū Kaizoku Akogingu certainly looks the part. It's got that weird style. But something in its heart is just not right.
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Review – Hotel Barcelona
There's a lot to love about Suda51 and Swery. For example, No More Heroes and Deadly Premonition. So, what happens when you put them together? What happens when you form a game designer supergroup? Hotel Barcelona, apparently! Unfortunately.
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Review – Army Men: Sarge’s Heroes 2 (PS1)
I've established this before, but ports of Army Men games were often completely distinct from one another. Sarge's Heroes 2 on PS1 is a pretty stark example of this. It follows the general framework of the other versions, but for some reason, this one got injected with LSD. Or however people use that drug.
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Review – Clay Fighter: Sculptor’s Cut
The Clay Fighter efforts aren't great on the SNES, but they have their charm. However, when the series landed on the N64, the clay really hit the fan. High-five to myself for coming up with that analogy. Anyway, they aren't great, and Sculptor's Cut is a pretty solid example of that mediocrity.
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Review – Fragile Dreams: Farewell Ruins of the Moon
Towards the end of the Wii’s lifespan, I made an effort to scoop up whatever lingering titles I was still deficient on. Fragile Dreams: Farewell Ruins of the Moon was one title that I hadn’t experienced that showed up on a few lists of hidden gems on the system, so I made it a point to pick it up. I…
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Review – Cruis’n USA
One of the games that was supposed to demonstrate the N64's power, Cruis'n USA wasn't the best of the system's early titles. There's something to be said about the optimism of first-generation N64 games, but, unfortunately, there has to be more than that.
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Review – Mega Man X6
From my perspective, the Mega Man X series has been in constant decline since the launch of the first game. Each game is just slightly worse than the last, and with X5, that decline seems to have picked up speed. Considering I count Mega Man X as one of my favourite games of forever, it’s sad to suddenly feel like…
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Review – The Urbz: Sims in the City
I grew up in a small rural town, population somewhere below 2000 (the signage was never quite clear on the number). The pervasive boredom of growing up in an area with no consistent social scene is probably the greatest factor in my embracing of video games as a hobby. It also meant that I’d perpetually be envious of city living,…
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Review – Never Stop Sneakin’
I have a pretty severe distaste for Metal Gear Solid, but I will readily admit that it is stylish, which is probably a big factor in its lasting popularity. It copied its MSX predecessors’ palette of cool blues and greys, giving it a cold and sterile appearance, then bloated it out into full 3D. It really owned its blocky, pixelated…
