I don’t know why, but China in a title weirds me out (unless it’s Chinatown, Jake). It makes it sound culturally ignorant. China Warrior, Super Chinese, China Miner. I know that’s not necessarily the case (except China Miner, that one is totally ignorant). It just reminds me of Chinese Checkers and fortune cookies: just a tacky and antiquated way to make things sound exotic.

I only bring this up because China Gate is a really weird title. It’s not completely off base since it’s kind of based on the classic work of Chinese literature, Journey to the West. In Japan, it’s known as Saiyuu Goumaroku: Ryuubouyougi no Shou, which means… Hold on… Ah, nope. This is beyond my comprehension skills. We’re going to go with how Hardcore Gaming 101 translated it, “Journey to the West Exorcism Record: Chapter of Flowing Stick Magic.” 

Fucking what? Okay, I concede. We’re going with China Gate.

EXORCISM RECORD

China Gate is a 1988 title by Technos, the folks behind Kunio-Kun and Double Dragon (many of the staff members also worked on those games, so literally “the folks”). As I mentioned, it’s based on Journey to the West, but I don’t think it has anything to really do with the story outside the characters. I should probably read it at some point. Maybe then I’d understand all the games that lift concepts from it.

Like, for example, the story seems to involve monsters stealing a book. I’m not sure what the book is, but the letters on the front it make it look like it’s called “ENJOY.” So, the cast of Journey to the West set off to get it back. You can choose to play as Goku, Hakkai, or Gojo, except they’re named Gocoo, Hakai, and Gojoe (I don’t believe that’s what they’re called in the Japanese version). It’s pretty clear who they are supposed to be, even if they’re designed to look squat and monstrous. It’s hard to mistake who a group that includes a monkey, a pig, and a kappa leading royalty on a horse is.

They all play pretty similarly. I tended to prefer Hakkai, but that was more of a visual thing. They all fight with polearms, and I’m not sure that any has longer reach or does more damage.

FLOWING STICK MAGIC

The game itself is a single-arena action game. To use the more popular example, it’s a bit like Bubble Bobble, but to use a more obscure but accurate one, it’s like Saboten Bombers. No, wait, it’s like Rod Land. The biggest difference is that you aren’t working to clear the arena of enemies but rather just keep them at bay until a boss shows up. Taking them out rewards you with points, as well as single-use magic weapons that are only sort of helpful.

Notably, some of the minor enemies look like Oompa Loompas and Danny DeVito. They’re not very threatening (contrary to what you’d expect from Oompa Loompas and Danny DeVito) as long as you avoid letting them get behind you, but in the later stages, the enemies are more resilient and require more mobility to take out without dropping a lot of health.

The hit detection in China Gate is butt. Well, not necessarily the hit detection, but your character’s attack range. If you hold forward while pressing the attack button, they’ll poke forward, but if you just tap attack, they kind of shimmy in place. Attacking while jumping is difficult to time and pretty inaccurate. Not an agile bunch, this trio.

INSTA-DEATH BOOGERS

It makes the bosses a pain since they can just barrel through your defenses. They’re not impossible, but I quickly learned how to get them caught in a pattern. There’s one boss that kind of resembles Vishnu, one of the Hindu deities. They turn up twice, and I found a spot where I was able to juggle them in a way they couldn’t hit me.

Which isn’t to say I didn’t drop some quarters on China Gate. It’s a game where there are no healing items, and it’s hard to never get hit, so you get worn down over time. But then there’s the final boss, which has a phase where whenever you hit them, they’ll spit out big green globs that kill you instantly. You have to be extremely careful and know when to move to avoid them, but even with patience and foresight, I would eat a bunch of them throughout the battle. Considering one credit only gets you two lives, that’s a quick way to eat through your lunch money.

It kind of had to resort to some quarter-munching tricks since it’s an astoundingly short game. I’ve learned the benchmark for arcade games seems to be around 40-50 minutes. I hit the credits at about 20 here. There are only about five levels, and since you’re just waiting for the boss to show up, you’re not going to find much opportunity to extend the playtime. At least they don’t force you to finish the game on one credit or something stupid.

APOLOGIES TO DANNY DEVITO

While China Gate isn’t a very good game, it has its charm. I’d play it again if I saw it in an arcade. The art style is really enjoyable, even if the backgrounds are pretty bland, and has touches like having the monk, Sanzo, pop up and tell you to continue when you run out of lives. There’s something to be said for a game that doesn’t overstay its welcome, but I don’t think China Gate even really hits that point. It could have probably gotten more mileage by adding more enemies or variety to the bosses.

Nonetheless, it’s not something you need to rush out and play. I’m not begging for a port here, and if it ever got one through something like Arcade Archives, I would likely hesitate at the thought of dropping $10 on it. So, you know, just try it out if you have the chance. It will only take, like, 20 minutes.

5/10

This review was conducted using MAME and a ROM version of the game. It is available on AntStream Arcade, last I checked.