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Review – Duke Nukem 3D: 20th Anniversary World Tour
Duke Nukem 3D was a huge game for me at a time in life when I shouldn't have been playing it. In fact, it probably really screwed up my sexual development. And while the 20th Anniversary World Tour version isn't the best, it gives me an excuse to talk about it. As if I needed one.
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Review – Clay Fighter: Sculptor’s Cut
The Clay Fighter efforts aren't great on the SNES, but they have their charm. However, when the series landed on the N64, the clay really hit the fan. High-five to myself for coming up with that analogy. Anyway, they aren't great, and Sculptor's Cut is a pretty solid example of that mediocrity.
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Review – Army Men: Sarge’s Heroes (PS1)
You might recall me mentioning that a lot of Army Men ports were completely different depending on what platform they were on? Sarge's Heroes on PS1 is a good example. It resembles the N64 and Dreamcast versions, but its levels and the way it plays are completely different. Not in a good way.
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Review – Battletanx (N64)
In a world with a glut of tanks and a deficiency in women, one man risks it all to find the woman he loves. Battletanx is as ridiculous as it is awesome. This is one of the best things that 3DO did, and one of the best games on the N64.
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Review – Cruis’n USA
One of the games that was supposed to demonstrate the N64's power, Cruis'n USA wasn't the best of the system's early titles. There's something to be said about the optimism of first-generation N64 games, but, unfortunately, there has to be more than that.
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Review – Demon’s Crest
This is the oddly named third game in the Gargoyle's Quest series. Demon's Crest ditches the more cartoonish aspects of the previous game and goes full horror. Firebrand is also a hot piece of toast, and people don't read this far down in these excerpts, do they? That would be embarrassing.
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Review – Chex Quest
My mother had tight control over the cereal I ate when I was a child. I never got to have Fruity Pebbles or Trix, which I always enjoyed when visiting a friend or relative, but I was allowed to have Sugar Crisp, which is, essentially, the sugariest cereal in the universe, so work that out. Also, I don’t like Sugar…
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Review – Army Men: Toys in Space
Released the same year as Army Men II on PC, but far worse Toys in Space is an early indication of the where the series was headed. While it seemed like Army Men II had refined the 2D PC formula, Army Men: Toys in Space fumbled it pretty hard.
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Review – Army Men II (PC)
1999 was probably the best year for the Army Men series before it was buried under a deluge of hastily developed titles. Army Men II was among the games released that year, and while I wasn't hot on the first title, Army Men II makes some substantial improvements.
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Review – Army Men (PC)
This is where it all started: the OG Army Men for PC. It was a badly needed (modest) hit for 3DO as it transitioned to a software company. But did it start off with a bang? No, not really. It could have been much worse, though, and kind of got there eventually.
