Zoey Handley
Zoey made up for her mundane childhood by playing video games. Now she won't shut up about them. Her eclectic tastes have worried many. Don't come to close, or she'll shove some weird indie or retro game in your face. It's better to not make eye contact. Cross the street if you see her coming.
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Rescued Kusoge – Join me on my quest to see nipples in BMX XXX
I had a long running column during my time at Destructoid, but the new owners delisted one of them. Probably because of the title, but that's dumb anyway. So my lost Weekly Kusoge article on BMX XXX is here now. As always, their loss is your gain.
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Review – Off-Peak
Speaking of Cosmo D, why not take a look back at where it all started? Technically, it's not here. But I do talk about Saturn V a bit. No, this review is instead about the start of the loose Off-Peak series of games, appropriately just named Off-Peak.
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Preview – Moves of the Diamond Hand
Cosmo D has finally pulled the sheet off of their newest project, Moves of the Diamond Hand. It's being split into four parts and gradually released through Early Access. Taking a page from all the best drug dealers, the first hit is free, afterwards, you will have to pay.
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Review – Rock’n Rage
Musicians traveling through time is strangely well-trodden ground. Rock'n Rage could be called a pioneer of it. Maybe? It involves bandmates hitting mummies with their instruments. I'm not sure there's another game like it out there, so that's positive. It's just too bad the quality isn't quite there.
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Preview – Promise Mascot Agency
Paradise Killer is an indie gem, and we're currently looking down the barrel of Kaizen Game Works' follow-up, Promise Mascot Agency. It's simultaneously weirder than you're expecting, while also being grounded in a lot of satisfying ways. You'll be seeing the demo during the February 2025 Steam Next Fest.
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Review – WWF Betrayal
The Monday Night War had just wrapped up, the WWF had reached new heights, we'd just seen some of the best wrestling games of all time hit the market, and Wayforward released one of its own. That's a great build up, it's just too bad WWF Betrayal is garbage water.
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Review – Keep Driving
I'm still on a quest to find the perfect road trip game. I wouldn't have expected an attempt at the concept from the Post Void devs, but that's exactly what Keep Driving is. Taking inspiration from The Oregon Trail, it's maybe not how I envision my ideal road trip, but it's close.
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Review – The Sinking City
Lovecraft is someone often imitated but never matched. A significant number of games have lifted from his mythos to different levels of success, but there's something intransferable about his storytelling. The Sinking City is an interesting take on his brand of horror, but it winds up a very mixed bag.
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Review – Clock Tower 3
Clock Tower: Rewind left me primed to jump into Clock Tower 3, only not really. Going into it, one of the few things I knew about Clock Tower 3 is that it isn't related much to the previous games. That much is true, and I'm not sure what it is actually related to.
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Review – Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? (Master System)
The education system failed me. Perhaps I can be redeemed by Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?. The Sega Master System version, specifically. This one distinguishes itself in one very important way: it forces you to dodge bullets. Probably not the best thing to teach children, but what do I know?
